my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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