That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize