Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
