Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
