dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize