we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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