don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
