If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
