"it" just moved
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
