Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize