Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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