Define "chronic" masturbator.
People in love make me want to vomit
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize