it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize