Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
