her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
