That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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