Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
