look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize