sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
