I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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