i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize