My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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