In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
