At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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