I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You may now shotgun with the bride
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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