my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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