Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
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