Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize