I think I am morally bankrupt
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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