The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
