____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
