TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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