I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
