Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize
