Me. At least after what I've been through.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
