Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize