Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
