He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
