And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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