what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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