we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
