I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
