Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
