how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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