Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
