just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
