yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
