i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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