No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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