Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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