Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
