she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
