and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
