if you like me you must not know who I am
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
