She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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