Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
