that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
