We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Randomize