Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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