At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
