Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
