Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
